Wrote: 04/12/2020 at the Spotlight Home Tour’s office

Hello Jacob,

It’s Jacob, yup that’s right it’s yourself! Past Jacob, I know you did not know how much the way you were living effected others. Maybe you were not aware of how much it was effecting yourself. Well, you were not aware of many things. I know you believe you can find your way out of your addiction by yourself. You’re smart, hard-working and a do-it-yourself kind of guy.  You have fought hard to be independent, praying almost every day to get away from your abusive father and the tense, strict life you lived under his thumb. So I get why you denied drug court the first time around. With time you’ll learn that it’s a gift to have someone or something around that will keep you accountable.  The thing is you have been lacking accountability and structure your whole life.

In drug court, you’ll find people that actually care about holding you accountable for the right reasons. For them it’s not about control, it’s about structure that will lead you to a better life. Right now your life is out of control. You have no solid structure. You have no love for yourself and because of that, you have no real love for others. With Drug Court’s accountability and structure, you’re able to gain a way of living that will keep you sober. With sobriety, you’ll be able to find yourself. You will gain love for yourself and others. As you grow you’ll be able to see others grow and you will grow close to the drug court team. People will learn to trust you and even look up to you. With service to others in the sober community and Drug Court you will build a family full of trust, love, and acceptance.

Denying and not accepting Drug Court only leads to things getting worse. What could have been less than 2 years ends up taking more than 7 years. In this time you will lose yourself and everyone else close to you. Accept Drug Court and everything that comes with it and you will gain a life with full of hope, faith, and courage. You will find people and a God that loves you more then you believed possible. There will be many heartfelt moments that bring you to tears. You’ll get to enjoy unexpected smiles and compliments from the Judge. You’ll be blown away when the prosecutor gives you advice from her heart about restitution and finances. You’ll actually be excited to see your therapist, counselor and others in the program. You’ll be a completely different person in all the good ways.

Jacob you’re doing really well and you’re about to graduate Drug Court! You have people that look up to you now. You have a good relationship with your boss and co-workers. There’s actually a long list of people who come to you for advice. You love yourself and genuinely love others now. You love God and everything more then you ever believed possible and it feels good. All your bills are paid, you have a drivers license and are all caught up on your car payments. Things are in order now. You’re a completely different person then use to be. You have been part of and living in the sober community for a while now. Everything in your personal life is in the sober community. You have people who care about you and that hold you accountable in your life. With your new way of life you have a bright future ahead of you. Do not forget where you came from. Stay close to others in recovery and never stop working on yourself. Above all stay close to God and do what you can to be good for others and yourself.

Future Jacob. I know you’re doing good. You have a life full of people who love you and you have done a lot for the community. You have a house, a wife with the same morals, and kids that look up to you. Your family, friends and co-workers trust you, count on you and look to you for advice. You’re helping others in the sober community find their way to a new life like yours. Life is beautiful now, simple and full of many good things. This is your past self reminding you that your life use to be a complete mess. No one trusted you back then Jacob. You were not in your kids life and you kept getting with women that treated you poorly and did not care about your success, happiness or helping anyone else. You were completely hopeless back then and never want to be there again. Remember to stay sober and close to others in your life that will hold you accountable and remind you where you came from. Keep helping others and stay close to God. Remember that all big things are made of small things. Do not give in to small temptations. Have faith and remember that everything happens for you Jacob not to you.